Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Reading some interesting articles and thought this one spoke volumes.

Developing Social Skills
and Relationships


By Betty Osman, Ph.D.

Learning to successfully interact with others is one of the most important
aspects of a child's development, with far-reaching implications. Although
most children acquire social skills by example, and possibly osmosis, research
clearly suggests children with learning disabilities (LD) may have difficulty
making and keeping friends. Adolescents with LD have also been shown to
interact less with their peers and to spend more leisure time alone, addicted
to TV, computer games, and the Internet.

Certainly not all young people with learning disabilities experience social problems.
Typically, the good athlete, class comedian, resident artist, or owner of the most
magic cards, is likely to be accepted regardless of his learning issues.Then,
too, some children, with or without LD, seem born to make life easy for parents --
and for themselves as well. They appear to develop social awareness early
in life and, as they grow, display innately good "people skills"-- a sense of humor,
a positive attitude toward life, and empathy for others, qualities guaranteed
to win friends.

But for many children and adolescents with LD, the lack of peer acceptance can
become the most painful of their problems. Computers and calculators can help
children with writing and arithmetic, but there is no similar technology to help
them handle a lonely recess at school, a family outing, or a date. These require
social competence.

"Social competence" in this context refers to those skills necessary for effective
interpersonal functioning. They include both verbal and nonverbal behaviors that
are socially valued and are likely to elicit a positive response from others.

Young people with social disabilities frequently are less able than others
their age to figure out how to behave in social situations and less aware of
how others respond to them. Therefore, they act without knowledge or regard
for social consequences. Most, though, tend to be unaware of their role, perceiving
themselves as the victims of others' mistreatment. Therefore, they take little
responsibility for their actions, blaming others or simply "bad luck" for events in
their lives. What they do feel, though, is an overdose of criticism
from peers
and adults alike.

To help young people with social problems, it is important to understand on what
level they are having trouble and how their social disabilities relate to their
learning disabilities. The immaturity of many children with LD transcends academic
areas, affecting their social adjustment as well. Communication skills, both
verbal and nonverbal, also have social implications. Children who don't "read"
body language and facial expressions well are likely to miss important signals
in life that are apparent to others.

To help children and adolescents develop social skills and promote
social acceptance, parents might consider these techniques:

·         Listen to children with the "third ear," i.e., active listening, not only to the words
they say, but the feelings they are expressing.
·         Initiate and practice pro-social skills at home, including:
o    HHow to initiate, maintain, and end a conversation
o    Tthe art of negotiation -- how to get what you want appropriately
o    HHow to be appropriately assertive without being overly aggressive
o    HHow to give and receive compliments
o    HHow to respond to teasing by peers
o    PPractice how to accept constructive criticism

Although not all children and adolescents with learning disabilities have
social difficulties, those who do require special understanding, not only in
terms of their current functioning, but for the people they are capable of
becoming. Although each young person is unique, all have the same needs
— acceptance, approval, and a sense of belonging.