Intellectual Disabilities (or PWID)

Please look for new entries every Thursday at the close of day (around 6 pm cst)

Personal Needs

In the last blog we discussed communication and how we need to set the bar high with using concrete thoughts and reasons. Taking our thoughts captive and speaking in concretisms to help our PWID understand words and phrases will not only help them communicate in a productive way, but ease frustration.

Now, let’s focus on taking care of personal needs (dressing, bathing, going to the bathroom). Has anyone struggled with that concept? I certainly have, how do we tackle that situation? We handle it with, again, in a solid concrete way, using direct and positive words. No quilt, accusations, or false realities i.e. if you don’t brush your teeth all your teeth will fall out. That probably won’t happen in the immediate future and they will start doubting your words. People with intellectual disabilities need to rely on their caretakers and over-exaggerating will not enforce their confidence in you or themselves.

 What is helpful is knowing what kind of learner your person is, tactile, visual, auditory, and use as many senses as you can. Some people have difficulty, especially those with speech and language delays, with listening. How can we relay the importance of them taking care of their physical needs without prompting? For our situation, it was a simple case of confidence. How did she proceed without me stating the obvious? By having her, slowly start to take responsibility for her own needs. How you ask? By not enabling, which is different than encouraging? She had a toothache, and with very little help from me, she had to call for an appointment, she had to take responsibility for all the paper work, and she found it easier to take care of her teeth. That worked for us, you will need to find your own success maker.

Responsibility is a great instructor. Sometimes it is easier for us [the caretakers] to do it, but who does that really help in the long run. You might need to start out small, baby steps, by letting them make decisions and having success with those decisions. The success will grow; they will enjoy that success and continue to make larger decisions, taking responsibility for themselves. It is like a snowball effect.  My daughter has a hard time giving herself credit for a job well done and needs constant “atta boys” from me. Taking responsibility not only helps decisions but helps with confidence where they need less and less “atta boys” from their caretakers.

Being a caretaker of a person with ID can be challenging if you make it, but also rewarding when they make the best choices for themselves and take responsibility for those choices. It is a reason to celebrate.

Please leave a comment on how you resolved an issue of personal needs, decision making, or taking responsibility. If we share it may help people who struggle with these issues. In the next issue we will be discussing home living.