Intellectual Disabilities (or PWID)

The ability to follow rules/obey laws

Consistency. PWID normally have a short term memory loss, so how can we, as caretakers, be assured that rules are being followed and they can function in this rule driven world. Consistency! It also needs to start very early. A child with a normal intellect can make allowances for inconsistency better than a pwid. We have to be a stone that never moves, something they can build a foundation on. If the answer to a question is no it can never be yes. I know I have fallen short of this many times and the one who suffers the consequence is my pwid.

If you have in your charge an adult with pwid who did not have the benefit of consistency, I am here to say it is not too late. Bear down, take courage and lose your soft spot, the only one you are hurting is your pwid if you can’t do it, you have to have, to coin a phrase, “tough love”.

How do we change the habits of people with intellectual disabilities? Reasoning! I have found that using an example works well for us. “Do you know anyone that doesn’t follow rules?  Like someone who steals a car? What consequences do you think he has? Does he go to jail? Or what other consequence do you think will happen? What would you do differently? Would you walk by if you knew you would go to jail?” That might not always work. They need to feel the consequences of their choices like everyone else. What are the consequences and are they compelling enough to change their actions? Do you remind them often? Consistency, that’s it. We need to be more consistent in the repercussions of their choices.

Most pwid’s’ do not have the benefit of people treating them like they have opinions. We need to get over the fact that they are different and realizing that the difference they have is not evil or scary. We also need to talk to adults as adults whether they have disabilities or not. Do we need to make allowances for them – absolutely, but not to demean, belittle or patronize them. They will certainly not learn by those examples.

I have found that with time, people with intellectual disabilities can learn, reason and produce. They can have a productive interesting life with help from caretakers that are astute and knowledgeable. We just need to realize that when we have a pwid our learning curve is forever active.