Intellectual Disabilities (or PWID)

Making decisions

Mom, what do I do now? Mom, is it all right if I …?  Mom, do you know where my…. Is? Sound familiar? My pwid is always asking for my opinions, thoughts, suggestions, or directions. Where is the confidence to make your own decisions?  My problems are with a child with intellect disabilities. It was very hard to trust her judgement, so I didn’t. The result was a person, who finds it difficult to make her own decisions, so now how do I fix that?

I sat down with her the other day and discussed with her options and how  I think she is ready to make her own decisions with no interference from me. Yipes!  But I think she is truly ready. She has proven to me she is more than capable, now to convince her!  One thing I have noticed is everyone learns at a different speed. My pwid had to realize the consequences of her decisions before she was able to take the full load of her choices. I do get concerned that it might be too late and that she is very comfortable in allowing me to make her decisions for her, but that was a chance I was willing to take. Forcing her to make her own decisions before she was ready could have been as detrimental as not letting her make them at all. We are starting out small. If she still feels uncomfortable making those choices we will discuss the consequences of those choices and what is she willing to accept. 

The more she chooses, the more confidence she will have making her own choices. The more successful she becomes , the more independent she will feel to go out and be the person she believes she can be.